I have been married for 32 years. I have a wonderful life. I have been obsessed with genealogy since I was 24 years old. It was all of a sudden very important for me to find out who my ancestors where. When that became difficult, I switched over to researching my husband’s ancestors.
I have always had such gratification from knowing where our family came from and was looking forward to sharing this with my children.
Well as fate would have it, I didn’t have any biological children. My husband’s only sister also had no children. Our family grew through adoption.
After 13 years of marriage, 6 failed in-vitro attempts, drugs, surgery and a 7 year waiting period for a baby…we were blessed with our first son in 1996. The most ironic thing about all this??? His birth mother said one of the factors in why she chose us was that she was very much into genealogy. She even gave me a full family tree of her family to give to my son if he’s interested. Amazing.
Then, after 3 years and 4 more failed adoption attempts we travelled to Siberia to adopt our younger son. Our family was now complete.
The only thing I struggled with was that my 35+ years of research and documentation would not be of interest to my sons. They are not biologically attached to their ancestors.
Boy, was I wrong!
My elder son is half Italian (another reason we were chosen) and part Irish/English. His ancestry is very connected to ours. He also is 100% connected to us and our ancestry and has never asked us about his bio family history. If he does, I do have it. I’ve shared part of it and it interested him, but not in a tangible way as ours has. He only knows “our” family, therefore “our” history.
My younger son is half Russian (Jewish) and half Tajikistani. How great was it that I received my DNA results and was able to connect with him about our shared Jewish ancestry!
We are a blended family. A lot of families today are blended…in so many different ways. I grieved for the fact that all my research about our ancestors might not be passed down, but I know that the information can be given to cousins on both sides. I rejoiced in the fact that I had even MORE family to research!
I have compiled as much family history as I can for both my boys. Obviously, it’s much harder for the younger one, but if he wants to travel to Siberia on day- we’re there!
Family history INCLUDES adopted children. They ARE part of the family. I was mistaken.
Our sons will carry on my husband’s surname forever, as will their children if they have them.